Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
