Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize