this just has baby written all over it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
