Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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