I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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