I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
party gras won. party gras always wins.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
