No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
