So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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