it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
