Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
