He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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