I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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