she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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