I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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