weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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