Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
