I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
