We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
