everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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