Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
