I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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