Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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