Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize