Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
