frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
