But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
