Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
