my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
