Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
