Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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