just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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