This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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