The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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