Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i would punch a child for taco bell
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
