i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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