a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
