He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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