No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
