it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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