Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i barfeds in our rink
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
