are you still at the devil's house?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
