So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
