So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
