Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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