dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
