She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have fence marks all over my body
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
