Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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