I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
