Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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