I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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