He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
