Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
