we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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