Sacagawea was the original milf.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
