3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
