I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
