I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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