very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
