There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
