I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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