why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Four minutes until I can fart!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize