how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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