Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
