Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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