Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
