Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
