After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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