all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
