Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
