he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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