I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I met the friendliest cop last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
